Army Defeats Danish National Team

The Red Army took on the Danish National Team last night at University Park and won 6-5. Matt Palmisnco took the win in net for the Army. This gives the Army a two game winning streak. Who cares if it was just an exhibition. These guys need all the help they can get. Due to the cultural differences between the two teams there were no post game interviews. But this reporter knows the reason the Army won was: No Marto, No Anderson, No Olson, No Gilby and No Sweeny! More next week!

No game this week

UND is using the arenas do to playoffs and ND state hockey.

Army holds on for win

The Red Army defeated the Warrior last night 4-2. The win catapulted the Army to 2-11-2 on the season. The Army looked good from the start, jumping out to a 2-0 lead after one period. Player/coach Terry Paukert moved Steve Olson up to forward with being shorthanded up there (No McMillan, S. Palmiscno, S. Knipe and Anderson). And Olson produced right away as he scored in the first period. "I can play any position. I create better at the blueline, but I'm a natural forward." The Army stretched their lead to 4-0 after two periods. That is when the good old Army took over. They hung on for the win. Goalie Josh Gilbertson played well for 2 periods, then remembered that he plays for the Army and things fell apart, just as the defensive zone coverage did. "Hey, it is a win, we don't get many of these. In a week we will talk about this game as a beat down," said Perry Marto. Lance Norman may have had his best game of the season as he notched a goal and assist. Unfortunately Norman took a stick to the bridge of the nose. There was a hush over the throng of women at the game. "We have the best doctor's in the league. Amazingly, they will make me look even better looking. So ladies, new pictures will be out soon," said Norman.

Deja Vu all over again

The Red Army has a chance to pick up their second win of the year as they take on the Warriors tonight at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. The 1-11-2 Army's only win of the season came against the Warriors. It was a 4-3 beat down. "With only a few weeks left in the season, this game could propel us into at least 6 place," said Steve Knipe. Look for Shawn McMillan to have a huge night. Coach Terry Paukert is going to increase his playing time tonight. "Shawn gets hampered by having to play with Perry and Bill. So I will double shift him with Lance and Lenny. I think he could get 2 points tonight." McMillan was overheard saying, "Not Lance and Lenny." The Army will be without goal scorer extraordinaire, Mike Anderson. Anderson has two tallies last week, but is out this week do to an injuring involving a Taser. Anderson took a taser shot to the groin and is out indefinitely. Also, Todd Schumacher will be a game time decision. Schumacher is suffering from turf toe and will go out for warmups and see how it goes. Schumacher said of his injury, "This toe would put 95% of the players in this league in the hospital. I give myself a 50-50 chance of playing tonight. My big toe won't keep me out for long. Just call me Sgt. Hulka." Plenty of tickets remain for tonight's game. In fact, not a single ticket has been sold. So please call 1-800-REDARMY for the best available seat.

Goaltending Change Does Nothing For Army

Despite sitting down starting goaltender Josh Gilbertson, it was the same old thing for the Army. The broken Drum beat down the Army 9-4. The loss drops the Army to a paltry 1-11-2. "The plus side is we tied our output of goals in a game with 4," Said Mike Anderson who tallied twice. Shawn McMillan said," if we could have converted on half of our breakaway attempts we would have tied the game." The Army pressed and pressed in the offensive end and just have been having a difficult time scoring. The Army were without Perry Marto and Steve Palmiscno. This could be the reason for the offensive surge last night. "It was great playing with a center and wing that knew what they were doing," said Bill Knipe. "Those two have hampered my creativity." It looks like Palmiscno could be out for the season. We can only hope for the same for Marto. The Schumacher watch has officially started. Veteran defensman, Todd Schumacher has scored at least one goal in every year he has played in the huff-n-puff league. With only a handful of games will he get it. He says yes, but his teammates say, "not a chance!"

What else is there to write

The Red Army takes on the Broken Drum tonight at 8:15 at the Gambucci Arena. The 1-10-2 Army is in one of the greatest tailspins of all time. They are trying to rival the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Winnipeg Jets and the Detroit Lions. This once proud franchise use to via for the league title year after year. It has been more than 10 years since their last championship. Will the glory years ever come back. I say the only way is for the team to get into a 60 and over league right now. Then maybe in 2 years they can win a title. There is a huge promotion tonight to try to fill the arena. Buy one ticket at regular price and receive 50 free. As on now no tickets have been sold. Call 1-800-REDARMY to be the first and get an autographed picture of the team.

Army losses again 6-2, despite outshooting opponent

For the second week in a row the Army went down 6-2. They also out shot a team for the second time in a row but just couldn't score. It has been the same story all year. The Army just can't finish. Two missed penalty shots and numerous wiffed attempts into open nets plagued the Army last night. "We played well enough to win again. When you can't score and you are pressing, you give up too many odd man rushes," said Lance Norman. Bill Knipe was the most positive after the loss. "We haven't played up to our expectation, we now have to play for pride." Steve Olson answered Knipe from across the locker room. "I play for food. You can't swallow pride." The loss drops the the Army to an all time worse 1-10-2. This once proud franchise seems to be slipping into the twilight and looking for a 43 and over league. Hopefully the Army can turn it around with 7 weeks to go. Missing from last night's action were Steve Palmiscno and Shawn McMillan. You wouldn't have noticed, but the PA announcer let us know of the late scratches.

Late game for the Army

The Red Army takes on Caufield's tonight at 8:30 at the Purpur arena. The Army is having a dismal season and not sure if playing for ride is enough. Playing for a long term contract is. Owner Darrell Boucher is ready to void all contracts and start all over. "These guys have 6 weeks to get there act together or some won't be here next year." GM Kevin Kyle said, "The bad thing is, no one else wants to play for us. No one can fit in the jerseys." Coach Paukert is toying with changing up the lineup. "We may have to change the lines and maybe make some position changes to see if that will give us the spark we need. If not, maybe bringing in more beer will help." Call 1-800-REDARMY for tickets. There are a lot left!