Army stays undefeated in 2009

The Red Army defeated Rumors last night 4-2 to run their 2009 record to 4-0-1. The Army was lead by goal scorers; Lance Norman, Steve Knipe, Len Boucher and Bil Knipe. Shawn McMillan also tallied 3 assists. "I'm tired of carrying this team without being considered for a raise on my contract extension," said a volatile McMillan. He continued, "I'm leading the team in scoring and all I get from Kyle (GM KEvin Kyle) is a pat on the back." The Army played without the Perry Marto and Steve Palmiscno. Both were scratched from the line-up for health reasons. This reporter has learned that Marto hurt his knee, not in practice as was listed on the line-up card. He injured his knee trying to see if his tool belt still fit. As he tried to put the belt on, which was 3 sizes to small, Marto stepped on a Zep Grinder and fell to the floor. Agonizing in pain. Army Coach, Terry Paukert said, "The grinder just had too much white sauce on it and Perry just lost control." As for Palmiscno, no one knows his whereabouts. He was not at the game and repeated calls to his home revealed nothing. An unconfirmed source, place Palmiscno somewhere in California. Obviously, as a Steelers fan, he thought that Pittsburgh is in California.