Norman Wins Red Army MVP

In one of the most lopsided votes in Red Army history, Lance Norman was named team MVP for the 2008-2009 season. Norman returned from behind the bench and a 3 year absence to lead the Army to their first winning season in years. "He was the spark that we needed. Not everyone in the league brushes their teeth after every game," said runner-up, Shawn McMillan. McMillan continued, " I just hope I can play on his line next year." Perry Marto quipped, " I was robbed, I'm the true MVP of the team and of this league. I want a trade." GM Kevin Kyle answered, "No one will take him." More awards will be announced next week.

Vote for your MVP

Vote for your Red Army MVP. Your vote will count for 20% of the vote total when the Red Army MVP is announced next week.

Marto stays with the Army

Perry Marto was not traded to Bemidji as reported last week. The Army actually inked Marto to a 5 year contract. GM Kevin Kyle said "We just couldn't part with Marto. He has been a valuable part of the Army for 25 years. I think our fan based would have sufffered." Shawn McMillan added, "I can't believe it. Marto gets 5 years for scoring 4 goals this year. I get 2 as the leading scorer. Kevin Kyle needs to retire!" This reporter has found out through governmental channels that Marto couldn't get traded to a Minnesota based team. When Gov. Pawlenty heard of the proposed trade, he called an emergency session of the legislature. The Perry Marto law was past. It will not let Marto stay in the state of Minnesota for more than 5 straight days. If he is found in the state for more than five days he will get deported back to North Dakota. So to save the embarrassment of this interstate situation, the Army signed Marto to the long term deal to keep relations between the two states on an even keel.

Marto No Longer with Army??

Red Army's Perry Marto, was disappointed when his son's team lost to New Hampshire last weekend. (His son Jake plays for UND) So in order to go to the final four. Perry Marto has been traded to an undisclosed team in Bemidji. The only thing that is tying up the trade is Marto needs to pass a physical. Once he does, his new team will send him directly to Washington DC to watch the Beavers play in the Frozen Four. Shawn McMillan on hearing about the trade, "It is great that we got rid of Marto, did we at least get a used puck bag for him." Steve Palmiscno added, "Army fans don't get your hopes up, there is no way he will pass the physical." More on this next week.