No Game on December 30

The Red Army will be back in action on January 6.

Defense Leads Army To Win

The Red Army defeated the GFAFB last night 5-3 to finish the first half of the season at 3-4. The Army's defensemen lead the charge. Steve Olson and Chad Swendeid each had goals and Todd Schumacher chipped in with 2 helpers. "When we get our talented defensemen creating offense, we are tough to beat," said Perry Marto. "I just played my normal game, I'm just here too help the team," said a confident Schumacher. The Army is off until Dec. 30. The Army is hoping to get injured forward Shawn McMillan back after off-season shoulder surgery. The addition of McMillan could propel the Army to the top. It will give them 2 top scorers in McMillan and Mike Anderson. No word when Steve Palmiscno will be back after "wrist" surgery. That surgery is keeping him out of the 40 and over world championships. The only other Army player invited to the camp is Steve Olson. So the Army could be without his services when the 30th rolls around. The Army wishes all of it fans to have a Merry Christmas. The Red Army news will return in 2 weeks.

World War Three: USSR vs GFAFB

The biggest question of the night is will the Red Army wave the Soviet Flag before tonight's game against the Grand Forks Air Force Base. Security is on high alert as the Army is expected to put the crowd into a frenzy as they wave the communist flag. "The crowd may go a little psycho, but when they see us play, they will start to laugh," said coach Terry Paukert. The Army is hoping to climb within one game of the .500 mark before the holiday break. "We are a little worried if we lose tonight, the holiday buffets will take a toll on the Army," said a worried GM Kevin Kyle. Kyle continued, " I know these guys are finely tuned athletes, but they are human. If they see a tray of Bon-Bons they could easily devour the whole plate." Call 1-800-REDARMY for tickets.

No Comeau, No Palmiscno, No Chance

The shorthanded Red Army was beat 4-1 last night against Gerrell's. The Army couldn't muster any offense without their top 2 scorers, Kurt Comeau and Steve Palmiscno. Both are out with injuries. Palmiscno had surgery on his arm after accidentally getting his hand in front of the bonless wing plate that was sitting in front of Steve Olson last week at Grizzlies. Palmiscno suffered damage similar to Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and will be out until after the Christmas break. This is a big disappointment for Palmiscno, "I was really looking forward in playing in the 40 and over World Championships that are being held with the World Juniors. I was going to play with Mike Modano and Pat Lafontaine." Comeau was also expected to play in the tourney but a hang nail will kep him out of action for possibly a month. The only other member of the Army on the 40 and over team is Lance Norman. Lance his lit it up the last 3 weeks and is Palmiscno's replacement. "It will be an honor to put on the Red, White and Blue." Unknown to Norman, his citizenship was rejected by the U.S. and traded to Latvia. More on this story next week.

Army Has Late Game Tonight

With the Army playing at 9:00 pm tonight(EGF BLC Arena), ESPN 8, The Ocho, is planning on covering the game live tonight. Chris Berman said, "With the late start and the extremely cold weather, we just don't want to see the Army Faithful have any troubles trying to get to the game. We are pushing back WPBA bowling 90 minutes to televise this huge game." The Red Army takes on Gerrell's in a game that can put the Army at .500. The cold temps outside will garner some colder temps inside the EGF BLC Arena. "How can I create when my toes are frozen," said Steve Olson. "It will take me until the 3rd period to warm this big body up." Kurt Comeau added, " I just hope I can find my electric socks, I'm not that tough." Mayor Lynn Stauss said, "We will try to do anything we can to make the Army happy. Extra heaters are being brought in. We can't lose the Army, they may actually make the city money. I just hope we can hide it so Pawlenty doesn't take it." Call 1-800-REDARMY for tickets if you are dumb enough to come out in this cold weather.

Army Crushes Broken Drum

The Red Army had the biggest goal outburst in 4 years as they defeated the Broken Drum 9-1. Lance Norman and Mike Anderson each scored goals in the win. "If those guys score, we know we are in trouble," said Broken Drum center Jamie Spicer. "No one in the league accounts for those guys." The Army finally got a good performance out of Goaltender Josh Gilbertson. "When Gilbertson plays like that, Swenny and I can create lots of offense," said defenseman Steve Olson. Olson continued, "That is what the Army pays me to do. I earned every appetizer they feed me tonight." Lost in the night was Kurt Comeau again missing a penalty shot. Comeau has missed 47 consecutive shots. "So what that he can score in traffic. He is going to cost us a game down the road," said Mike Anderson. The Army upped its record to 2-3 on the year. They take on Gerrell's next week to get their record to the .500 mark.

Will the Army Bounce Back

The Red Army is at it again tonight at 8:15 tonight as they take on the Broken Drum at the Gambucci Arena. The will be an uphill battle, as the Army has never defeated the Broken Drum. "We beat Kelly's for the first time 2 weeks ago, so maybe it is our turn," said Todd Palmiscno. "What are you talking about turns, this isn't Park Board hockey, no one has turns. We have to play at a high level to beat anyone in this league," said Coach Terry Paukert. The Army is still without their leading scorer from last year, Shawn McMillan. As you remember, McMillan was inked to a 15 year deal last spring. McMillan had off season shoulder surgery after a freak accident in the Burger king playland. It involved the ball bin, french fry oil and the doublemint twins. That is the only information this reporter could get out of Army GM Kevin Kyle. Kyle in an official statement said, "We stand by McMillan. We understand he did nothing wrong. We also want to say that Tiger Woods was in attendance but did not participate in the ball bin. He was just there to drive McMillan home." Get your tickets at 1-800-REDARMY.