Army plays to another tie

The Red army tied the El Roco Buschwackers 3-3 last night in Huff-n-Puff action. The Army had to battle back from a 2-0 deficit in the first and 3-2 in the third. The game was highlighted by a goal from Perry Marto in the first period. "Steve Olson got down to creation. Ole finally put on an offensive show," said Coach Terry Paukert. "His touch pass to Marto was a thing of beauty. We just couldn't believe that Marto put it where Mamma keeps the cookies, in the top shelf." The Army actually got a stellar performance from goalie Josh Gilberston. Gilbertson finish with 14 saves. "It is about time he played like this. It has only taken him 3 years to figure it out," said an injured Steve Palmiscno. "I can't believe that we tied the Army, we are so much more talented than they are. But I guess they played with more heart. We having too many "Tin Men" on our team," said Brian "Baron" Purcell. "We need more players like Lance Norman and Todd Palmiscno," added Jerry Lundby. The tie puts the Army at 0-2-2. This is 1 more point that this reporter thought the Army would get this season. Looks like bonuses from Owner Darrell Boucher for everyone on the team.

This game is huge

Rivals, the Red Army and the El Roco get after it tonight in a Huff-n-Puff league showdown. The game has been moved to the Gambucci Arena to allow the Fighting Sioux Sports Network to televise tonight tilt, which begins at 7:00 pm. The two teams have been dominate for most of the 25 years the league has been in existence, but both have fallen on hard times as age and weight have become a factor. But throw all that out the window. This rivalry bring out the best in everyone. "WE just don't like these guys. I just wished that Kevin Kyle would play one more game so I could stick him in the groin," Said El Roco winger, Brian Purcell. "We would like to stick him to," replied Army center Perry Marto. Tonight's game will most likely come down goaltending. The El Roco has a goalie and the Army doesn't. If the Army can hold the El Roco to less than 10 shots, they could win 10-8. So the Army defense will have to be huge. "That is easy for us because they average 240 pounds," said coach Terry Paukert. Get your tickets at 1-800-REDARMY.

Army vs El Roco Wednesday

The annual Thanksgiving Eve game between the Red Army and El Roco is slated for the Gambucci Arena at 7:00pm. Rumor has it that there will be 3 special guests in the arena. Kevin Kyle is expected to be in attendance, along with Barry Melrose and Don Cherry. So tickets are at a premium. There are less than 100 left for the game. Call 1-800-REDARMY to get yours.

Army picks up a point

The Red Army was 1:20 away from a win last night, but had to settle for a 2-2 tie. The Army trailed early in the game, but got 2 fist period goals by Kurt Comeau and Len Boucher. But the Army defensive shell couldn't handle the relentless Broken Drum offense late in the game. "The puck took a bad bounce behind the net." said Steve Olson. "When I tried to clear it around the boards, it hit a skate and went right out front." Coach Terry Paukert was visibly steamed about the play. "We had both defensemen caught behind the net. I didn't think it was possible for Olson and Swendseid to be both behind the net at the same time. I didn't think there was enough room. And the forward weren't close to the action as they were cherry-picking at the blue line." Josh Gilbertson may have had his finest effort as a member of the Army. He made 16 stops with only 2 goals against to drop his GAA to 4.3. "Just wait, we will see the Gilby we know and love in the next couple of weeks," said Steve Palmiscno. "He still should have made the last save!" On a positive note, Todd Schumacher And Todd Palmiscno were both plus 2 on the night. Schumacher also picked up a helper. Both Schumacher and Palmiscno are in the last years of their contracts so you can tell they are playing just to bolster their stats and get a large contract extension. The other big news is that GM KEVIN KYLE will be making an appearance next week as the Army will be taking on the El Roco. Kyle who would rather watch the games from his office might actually be in attendance. He may even put a bounty on the head of Brian Purcell. More on this breaking news next week!

Will the first win be tonight?

The 0-2 Red Army puts it perfect record on the line tonight against the Broken Drum. Game time is 6:30 at the EGFBLC arena. The smaller rink should help the army sustain a forecheck. The Army is having a dismal season producing goals. they are averaging 2 goals a game in the Puff division. All the other teams are averaging 5-6 goals per game. "I think the small rink and fast ice will showcase our talents," said Kurt Comeau. "I know I will skate harder knowing the Mike Anderson has access to a Taser." The rink should also help the aging defensive corps. With a shorter length, it wont take as much force to ice the puck. A strategy the Army has use quite effectively over the past few seasons. Defensmen Steve Olson added, "The way our forwards backcheck, icing the puck is the only way to get it out of the zone. We might even get lucky and the puck will end up on an Army stick. Lord knows if the puck is in our end for more than 15 seconds, it will end up in the net. Gilby sucks." Taking with GM Kevin Kyle, Kyle stated, "Our goal is to win one game. With the athletes we have it is going to be difficult. A panoramic camera, couldn't get the whole team in a picture for our program."

Nov. 17 game

Game time is 6:30 at the EGFBLC vs the Broken Drum.

Army can't find offense in 5-2 loss.

The Red Army looked dismal for the first 2 periods as they could only muster 8 shots on net. The Army trailed 5-0 after those two periods. Amazingly, goalie Josh Gilbertson kept the game that close. The Army did manage 2 goals in the 3rd by Kurt Comeau and Mike Anderson. "It is about time Gilby played well," said Steve Palmiscno. "We have only waited 3 years for him to play a good game." Palmiscno played only half of the game as he hurt his shoulder. He got it caught between Perry Marto and Bill Knipe. Palmiscno was reaching for a water bottle on the bench that was located between Knipe and Marto. Both Knipe and Marto thought Palmiscno was reaching for the cheeseburger that was next the the water bottle. Well, Newton's 2nd law of motion came into effect and Palmiscno was out the rest of the game. Coach Terry Paukert said, "I think if the game had 4 periods, we would have tied it up. We were really good the last 5 minutes. It looks like our conditioning program is working well." Len Boucher added, "If we would have had to play 4 periods, I think the whole team would have skated off the ice. Does Paukert think he is Brad Childress?"

Big Game Tonight

The Red Army plays tonight at 7:00 pm at the Eagles Arena. The opponent is yet to be determined. The Huff-n-Puff league is trying something new this week, as no one knows who they are playing. In an attempt to halt illegal video scouting, the league made this decision. Owner Darrell Boucher said, "This should help our team. Our scouting budget is almost nothing compared to other teams. No other team has to pay as much as I do because of health care cost for this team. 75% of these guys are walking time bombs." The biggest thing about tonight's game will be the absence of Mr. Consistent, Todd Schumacher. He will be at a church ceremony. The clergy will be performing an exorcism on his stick. Coach Terry Paukert said, "We are trying anything to stop him from passing the puck to the other team. We need to get rid of the demons in that stick." If this works, Todd Palmiscno will be having this ceremony next week.

Nov. 10

As far as I know, we play at 7:00pm at the Eagles arena on Wednesday. I got the info from Kevin.

Opener goes the way of Caufield's

The Red Army started the season with 6-2 loss to Caufield's. Things looked good for the Army as they only trailed 2-1 after one period, but the lead quickly jumped to 4-1 after two. The Army did score again late in the third to make it a 6-2 game. "If we had 6 more minutes I think we get a tie," said Steve Olson. "Our best hockey was the last 6 minutes of the game. It showed our off-season conditioning program was starting to pay off." Kurt Comeau and Len Boucher were the Army goal scorers last night. The Army still is looking toward their goaltending situation. Josh Gilbertson gave up all 6 goals on 13 shots. A better save percentage as last year. "He needs to play better," said Perry Marto. "We need to get a better effort from him." In this reporters opinion, there needs to be a lot more effort given by the whole team. Most guys looked like they were moving backwards.

It all starts tonight

Unfortunately the Red Army begins the season tonight against Caufiled's at 8:30 at the BLC Arena in Grand Forks. When will these guys give up on playing this stupid game. But here are some prediction for the season

Perry Marto will gain 10 lbs.
Shawn McMillan will have to play on Bill Knipe's line
Bill Knipe will miss the net 345 times this year
Josh Gilbertson will have a save percentage of 12%. Higher than last year.
Lance Norman will get hurt.
Todd Schumacher will score 3 goals
Steve Olson will not see his feet
Steve Palmisnco will pass the puck to Schumacher 4 times during the year
Todd Palmiscno will not get mad all year
Kurt Comeau will get a new hairdo
Steve Knipe will get a day off from work
Mike Anderson will run into everyone on the team at least twice
Len Boucher will wash his stuff 3 times this year
Chad Swendseid will not miss a game this year.

Season Lid-Lifter

The Red Army will open the season on Wednesday against Caufiled's at 8:30 at the BLC arena in Grand Forks. More to come on Wednesday.