Ka-BOOM!

That thud you heard last night wasn't Ol' Saint Nick and his Reindeer landing on your roof. It was the Red Army getting trounced 5-0 to the Buschwackers last night. It was a new low for the Army. In a season of lows. Getting shutout by their Arch Rivals. This is the beginning of the end for the Army. Not even Lance Norman's presence could get the Army one measly goal. Not even the absence of Perry Marto gave the Army a tally. Their will be a lot of sole searching this Thanksgiving for the Army, along with a lot of eating. "At least they will do what they do best, eat," said a disappointed coach Terry Paukert. "We have a lot of work to do just to win a game this year. Not sure if that will happen!" Even with going with almost 3 full lines, the Army just could wear down the in shape Wackers. Slick defenseman Keith Anderson said, "We are in much better shape and dominated the lowly Army."

The rivalry continues!

Huge match-up tonight with The Red Army and the hated Buschwackers renewing their rivalry tonight at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. These 2 storied franchises have loss a l of of luster in this showdown. The Army is 0-3, and well on their way to a 3-17 year. The Wackers aren't much better. Something has got to give. The Arena is sold out for what is being called the "Puke Bowl". "Anything can happen when these two teams get together," said Wacker Paul Endres. "Throw the records out the window when these two teams meet," said Army stalwart Len Boucher. (You can add your own clique in the comments if you would like) Both teams are looking forward to March when the season ends!

Army Spanked 8-2

The Red Army is off to a dismal start this year. With the 8-2 loss last night by Kelly's the Army drops to 0-3 on the year. The Army has scored 6 goals (2 per game) while allowing 21 (7 per game). "We won't win a lot of games if we keep this pace up," said a disappointed Mike Anderson. "We have to bury our chances," said Lenny Boucher (who finally scored on the year). "I should have had four." The Army was without 4 players last night. Steve and Matt Palmiscno were at an Italian cooking class learning how to make Pesto. Lance Norman was absent for the 3rd straight game. "Where the hell is Norman," was chanted numerous time throughout the arena. Not even coach Terry Paukert had an answer for Norman's absence. "The guy is just a no-show. He doesn't call or check in. His fines are starting to pile up. If he isn't here next week, no one else will have to buy beer for the rest of the season. Norman will have it all," said a disgruntled Paukert. The other notable absence was Perry Marto. Marto is on a scouting mission to Europe. He is heavily recruiting in Switzerland and the Czech Republic for anyone stupid enough to play for the Army. Marto will be back in a couple of weeks and we will be able to see if his mission was successful. Next week may be the only chance for the Army to win. They take on the hated Buschwackers at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. This may be the only team slower and older than the Army. The reporter thinks it is a tie. An anonymous league source was quoted "Both of these teams suck and need to find a different league to play in. The Dubai hockey league is looking for a couple of teams!" More next week!

Doesn't look like a win on Wednesday?

The 0-2 Red Army faces off against Kelly's on Wednesday night. Game time is 7:15 at the Eagles Arena. The Army's 30 Anniversary season isn't going as planned. GM Kevin Kyle said, "We had the schedule tailor made for us to start 2-0, and we haven't preformed yet." Kyle continued, "It doesn't look good this week. Our practices haven't been good this week." "I have worked my tail off in practice," said Len Boucher. "Kyle needs to get out of his office and get to the rink to see what is happening." Boucher is the only player with a multi-year deal and was the only player willing to talk about Kyle on the record. Look for some line-up changes and juggling of lines for Wednesday's game. Doubt it will help, but the beer will still be cold!

Yeah, we got a lot of losses!

The Red Army is off to a rough start. The Army was spanked 8-1 at the hands of Amce and coupled with last weeks loss to BBI (5-3), the Army is at 0-2 on the young season. Did anyone think anything would be different. Steve Olson, last night's goal scorer quipped, "Not sure if the 30th anniversary tour was a good idea." "We are the poster child for why old rock bands don't have reunion tours," said Perry Marto. The only bright spot was new goaltender Bobby Egeland. Even though he gave up 8, his save percentage was still at 92%. As of now, this reporter hopes March comes fast so this season comes to an end!

Here we go again!

The Red Army takes on Acme tomorrow night at 9:00 at the EGF Blue Line Arena. The Army has always struggled in the "Ice Box". The small rink and even smaller locker rooms inhibit the Army's creativity. This is the Army's 30th season and possibly the last. In a closed door meeting a month ago, the Army had a heated debate on whether to don the Red Army sweaters again. But after a few cocktails and burgers the Army will march their way into another season. "If they go more that 30 years, this team will set back hockey as far back as the 1500's," said Coach Terry Paukert. More on the game coming on Thursday morning.