The Season Begins Tonight

The Red Army opens the season tonight at 7:15 with the game at the Purpur Arena. As is customary for the first game, Baron hasn't let anyone know who they are playing. Baron said, "I don't even know who the Buschwackers are playing and I made the schedule." Lots of questions surround the Army this year. The biggest question is if all the players made the mandatory 215 pound weight limit. Remember that means the player has to weigh more than 215 pounds. Rumor has it that Bill Knipe was at 213 and was seen at the Northside Cafe this morning. Knipe Stated," I have a busier day than the presidential candidates. I'm at the Northside now. At 9:00 I have to be at Denny's, at 11:00 the Red Pepper, and at 3:00 Speedway. My weigh in should be just fine!" Call for tickets at 1-800-REDARMY.