Army falls to 1-8-2

The Red Army has fallen to new lows after last night's devastating loss to ACME 3-1. The Army held a 1-0 lead heading into the 3rd period. That lead quickly vanished in 3 shifts. ACME scored on the 1st and 3rd shifts of the period to take a commanding 2-1 lead. An empty netter sealed the win for ACME. "We controlled the first 2 periods. We got up 1-0 in the seconds and went right into the famous Red Army dump and chase. We we poised to get our second victory," said player/coach Terry Paukert. "Every time we get up on a team, we give up a weak goal," said Steve Olson. Acme scored from a shot from the corner to tie it up. The shot went off of Shawn McMillan's stick and unbelievably between Josh Gilbertson legs. When McMillan was asked about the goal he replied, "That is the last time I will back check this year. If I was floating out at center, they don't score!" Josh Gilbertson had no comment on the goal or his play, who ended with 11 saves on the night. Perry Marto wasn't shy from commenting. "I thought Moses was dead. I have never seen a five hole as large as Gilby's. It was the second parting of the Red Sea." This once proud franchise could be on the brink of falling apart unless they start scoring goals. The team is averaging 2.2 goals on the year. GM Kevin Kyle, "With our goaltending and defensive problems, we need to average 6.5 goals a game just to get to the .500 mark. I have sent assistant GM, Paul Markovich, to Siberia to find me some guys that can score!" Right now, the Army could have Alex Ovechkin playing for them and it wouldn't be good enough.