Army gets Hammered

The Army got beat 7-2 in its worst performance of the year against Caufield's. No one from the Army would talk to the media after the game. The Army dominated the shot chart. Out shooting Caufield's 47-11. The Army did have a press statement: "There will be a goalie tryout for the Red Army this Sunday at 1:30 at the REA. Anyone interested in this should call 1-800-REDARMY. Notables that have already signed up are: Mike McKay, Jim Scanlan, Jeff Hegg and Brad Burlog. More on this next week.

Ten Win Season a Possibility???

The Red Army could possibly end the season with 10 wins if they can win their last five games in a row. "We would have to play our best for five weeks in a row. That will be a tough task," said coach Terry Paukert. "They don't have a chance," joked Brian "The Baron" Purcell, "They have to play us twice, so that is two losses!" Even for the Army to finish above the .500 mark they will have to finish the season 4-1. "If we could get any goaltending we would be 12-1 this year," complain Steve Palmiscno. The Army will be without defenseman Todd Palmiscno tonight. Palmiscno has been sent to the Army's AA affiliate Las Vegas for a couple of games to regain his confidence. "Maybe I will finish the game on the plus side this week without him," said a happy Todd Schumacher. Schumacher and Palmiscno have finished a combined -7 over the last two weeks do to Palmiscno's poor play. In a phone conversation with Palmiscno, while he was sitting next to the pool at the Mirage, "I have been playing too much like Tyler Pamliscno and not myself. These couple of games will get me ready for the stretch run!" The game tonight is at 5:45 at the Gambucci Arena versus Caufield's. Call 1-800-REDARMY for tickets.

Norman stays with Army

The Red Army lost twice last night. They were defeated by Kelly's 7-4 and worst of all had to retain the contract of Lance Norman. "We are stuck with Norman for the rest of his 15 year contract, which has 14 years left on it," said a disappointed GM, Kevin Kyle. Owner Darrell Boucher chimed in, "We had our chance to get rid of Norman. We signed him to a big contract a couple of years ago after he had a career year. We made a mistake and now are paying for it. Are only hope is that he gets an injury that will end our misery." As for the game, Kelly's jumped out to a 4-1 lead early in the first period, only to see the Army battle back to 4-4 midway through the second. But then goalie Josh Gilbertson started to play like the Gilby of old and gave up three goals that any 6 year old would have stopped. "We expended so much energy to get back into the game, we needed a save. I created the best I could, a save or two would be nice," said a disgruntled Steve Olson during the team buffet after the game. The Army looks to get on track next week when they face Caufield's.

Late one tonight

The Red Army is in prime time if they were playing on the west coast. Tonight's game against Kelly's starts at 9:00 central time, 7:00 Vancouver time. The game is being held at the EGFBLC. The game was pushed back so that the Millions of fans watching the Olympics, could see this mammoth tilt between 2 heavyweights in the Huff-n-Puff league. The 2 teams have split their season series, so tonight's game is for all the marbles. What is actually comes down to is the loser of tonight's game has to acquire Lance Norman for next year. So don't expect any team to try to throw tonight's game. "It would be great if Norman played on a different team. We might get some consistency on our lines," said Shawn McMillan, who has been stuck with Norman for the last 2 games. Todd Warner of Kelly's said, "Yea, Norman is fun to have around when we are out after the game, but to have him on our team would be like having anyone from the Slovakian woman's team playing for us." So look for each team to maybe put a bounty on the head of Norman tonight. Tonight's game in being broadcast internationally on TSN. There are a few tickets left for tonight's game, call 1-800-REDARMY for the best available.

Sister Kisser for the Army

The Red Army tied the GFAFB last night 4-4 in a lackluster performance. Bill Knipe scored with under 2 minutes left in the game to salvage a tie for the Army. The Base was helped out by the play of Todd Palmiscno. He was their best player with 3 assists. "Too bad he plays for us," said brother and teammate Steve Palmiscno. "We are used to seeing Schumacher play like that but not Todd. He was absolutely dreadful." Todd Palmiscno was quickly to defend himself, " You would think Gilbertson would come up with one of the save on the 3 give-a-ways I had. He doesn't it all the time when Schumacher gives up the puck." Gilbertson commented, "I'm not use to Palmo giving up the puck so much. I watch Schumacher so much, so I'm always ready when turns the puck over." "I thought I had my best game of the year. I had an assist and didn't give the puck to the other team. But I still was on the ice for all 4 goals against," said a stunned Schumacher. Len Boucher highlight reel goal was the only thing the Army could comment about offensively. Boucher use of his feet to kick it up to his stick for a goal was reminiscent of Pele's bicycle kick. "My athletic prowess took over, it was just another day of being me, said a confident Boucher. The tie means that the Army hasn't lost in three weeks. How big will their heads get!

Bundle up for tonight's game

The Red Army takes on The GFAFB in the frigid EGFBLC arena tonight at 7:45. The Army is looking for their first 3 game winning streak in 4 years. But that isn't the biggest concern for the Army. "If all of us show up for the game, we will have to get dressed in shifts," said a disgruntled Steve Olson. Bill Knipe quickly added, "Maybe have the team should dress at home, just like the old days!" GM Kevin Kyle was much more truthful in his observation, "Why don't you guys lose some weight. Look at the two guys complaining, Ole and Bill, step away from the buffet a couple of times a week." The Army will need a good game from their goalie, Josh Gilbertson. In the 2 game winning streak, Gilbertson has had a 78% save percentage, up from his normal 45%. "If we give up less than 12 shots we will win the game. We should only give up 3 and we can score four tonight," said Shawn McMillan. "Gilby still sucks," screamed Steve Palmiscno. "Where were the beef sticks last week Gilby, stop the puck!" Call 1-800-RED-ARMY for tickets for tonight's game.

Two in a row ain't no record

The Red Army has a two game winning streak for the first time in 2010. The Army defeated Gerrell's 6-1. "We went out and dominated the game from the drop of the puck," said Chad Swendseid. Swendseid jump started the Army in the first period with an amazing behind the back pass to Shawn McMillan, who promptly put it were grandma keeps the cookies. "It is no surprise that the two games I've played since coming back from injury, we have won," said a confident McMillan. McMillan has resurrected his career with the play of his new wingers, Mike Anderson and Lance Norman. McMillan continued, "As long as I stay in the middle of the rink, Mike and Lance won't run into me and I won't get hurt." Josh Gilbertson had a solid game for the Army finishing with 3 saves, one in each period. Gilbertson said, "Even if I don't make a save we win 6-4." Steve Palmiscno was quick to add, "He now finally understands how bad he is."

Is Gerrell's the next VICTIM??

Can it be possible for the Red Army to have a 2 game winning streak. The Army has 4 wins on the year, the last was last Wednesday against the Broken Drum. The Army will have to play better tonight against Gerrell's, a team that beat the Army earlier in the year. Game time is 6:00 at the GFBLC arena. "As long as Gilbertson can stop the puck we can win," said Coach Terry Paukert. Paukert continued, "We have all the elements in place to make the stretch run, but Gilby needs to pick it up." "No S*@T," said Steve Palmiscno. Get your tickets at 1-800-REDARMY.