A TIE

The Army gave up 2 late goals in the 3rd period (the 3rd goal with 11 seconds left) and surrendered what looked like a sure win against The Base only to tie 3 - 3. Eric Melland made his 1000th save of the year and could not be blamed for this one... but still was. Steve Knipe scored 2 goals on his first 2 shifts but his linemates (Marto & B. Knipe) could not muster up anything to give him the Hat Trick. "I busted my ass for 3 periods and those 2 cupcakes couldn't get me the puck!" quipped a hot Steve Knipe. The all Swedish line of Boucher, Comeau and McMillan (because they can't finish) had chance after chance but could not throw in that 4th goal that could've iced the game. McMillan did sneak one by the goalie in the 2nd but that was it. The Army was a little short as they had 2 forward lines and 3 defense. No Schumacher, Anderson, S. Palmiscno, Norman (2 cases next week) could be found. "They wouldn't have helped us anyway. I sit in my net and laugh at those ass clowns." said Melland. The Army now sits at something like 2-8-2 on the year. "We're the Devils Lake of the Huff N Puff League... sad." said a dejected Lenny Boucher. Next game will be posted soon, and lost shortly after that.

Palmiscno stoned late as Army losses again

It took an incredible save from the Acme goalie in the last 30 seconds to preserve their 4-3 win over the Red Army. Steve Palmiscno was standing on the door step. Goalie out of position. The only thing in the way of a sure tie (a victory when talking about the Army)was the goaltenders glove. And that is where the puck ended up. Palmiscno argued that the puck was across the line when the goalie caught it. But Derek Sheppard was right there to say no goal. Kurt Comeau said, "It was unbelievable that Palmo hit the glove. He has never hit that small of a target." The Army was leading 3-2 after two periods, but just couldn't hold on. Todd Schumacher was to say the least disgusted about the outcome. "I played two great periods. We are up 3-2. Then what does coach Paukert do. He sends me out and after the shift we are down 4-3." Schumacher continued, "I can only play 2 periods well. It might be the 1st and 2nd, 2nd or 3rd and so on. But Puakert has to know that. If I don't play we win!"

8:30 game time, too late for McMillan

The Red Army faces off against Acme tonight at 8:30 at the Purpur Arena. The Army will be without Shawn McMillan. McMillan has been hired to do some touch up work on the Mona Lisa. He was flown to Paris on Monday for this delicate job. Steve Olson said, "McMillan and delicate in the same sentence; it just doesn't sound right." The biggest question the Army faces is: Will they win game #3 on the season. "Hell No," said a disappointed Coach Paukert. "Unless we find a way to score some goals. Two wins will all we will have. None of the players disputed what the coach said. PLENTY of tickets available for tonight's game. Free Puke buckets will be given out to everyone in attendance. With the Way the Army plays, all in attendance will throw up!

Shutout!

The Red Army fell to 2-7-1 after losing 1-0 to the Buschwackers. Yes a 1-0 game in the Huff-n-Puff league. No one thought that only one goal would be scored between these 2 rivals. Lee Kahlbaugh of the Wackers finished with 55 saves. He stoned numerous chances late in the game as the Army had their goalie pulled. Jerry Lundby of the Wackers said, "The Army dominated us. They should of won. But our goalie kept us in it." Steve Olson said, "Our goalie ends with 27 saves, the 28th wasn't that hard of a shot." Steve Palmiscno said, "Without Marto in the lineup, we played so much better. We had better flow." The Army's best chance was in the first as Steve Knipe had the goalie down and out and hit the net. Too bad it was the netting above the glass. "I was 2 feet in front of the net and put the puck up 25 feet," said a disappointed Knipe. Shawn McMillan said, "If Schumacher was in that situation, he would have scored. He can't lift it!"

Army Losses 1-0

The Red Army lost 1-0. More on that later today. Next's week game is against Acme at 8:30 at the Purpur Arena. Make sure all the players take a nap, so you can stay up for the game.

Army vs Wackers, no more needs to be said

Huge game tonight! The 2-6-1 Army takes on their arch rival the Buschwackers. The Wackers beat the Army earlier in the year 5-2. The Army couldn't hold on to a 2-0 lead in that one. The Army was short handed in that one, as 3 of the regulars were on the shelf. "Having Marto and both Knipes probably won't help us tonight," said Shawn McMillan. McMillan continued, "We just suck!" The Army really has nothing to play for since Todd Schumacher scored last week. "He scored too early in the year," said Steve Palmiscno. "We play harder when he doesn't have a goal. I see a huge letdown tonight. We will be taking it out on Baron tonight!" Wacker Darrin Vatsandal added, "Can you take Flaagen out too!" Keith Anderson also stated, "We will pay the Army to take out Baron and Flaagen. Will a case of beer be enough." Bill Knipe answered, "YES". Game time is at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. Make sure you eat after the so you don't throw up watching this mess!

Army gets crushed, But SCHUMACHER Scores!

The Red Army lost again last night 10-4 to the Broken Drum to drop to 2-6-1. The Army got goals from Kurt Comeau, Steve Palmiscno, Chad Swendseid, and TODD SCHUMACHER. That's right, Schumacher has extended his streak of at least one goal every year he has played. Mike Anderson said, "I couldn't believe it, he put it where Mamma keeps the the cookies. The Top Shelf." Perry Marto had a different take on the goal. "We will have to listen the Schumacher for the rest of the year. It will be a long rest of the season." Steve "Streak" Olson added, "We can't let him score, we need him to quit. I know if he doesn't score he will feel shame and never play again." Bill Knipe was mad at Steve Palmiscno. "Palmo was the one that passed it to Schumacher. He should have to bring beer the rest of the year for that mistake. " Schumacher humbly answered his critics by saying, "I'm just here to help the team win. Scoring isn't that important to me. I want to see the team do well." Shawn McMillan quipped, "That is a crock of $hit!" Can't wait til next Wednesday! The Army takes on the Bushwckers next Wednesday at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena.

Army will try to play again tonight

The Red Army takes on BBI at 7:15 at the Purpur Arena. Not much positive to say about a 2-5-1 team. Bill Knipe summed it up perfect, "If there is nothing good to write, don't write it." So with nothing good to write about this team, the update is over for now. Tomorrow will be much better!

A new year, another loss

The Red Army dropped to 2-5-1 after last night's drubbing by Kelly's 6-1. The Army was still on the Christmas break when the game started. "We were a little flat," Said Perry Marto. Steve Palmiscno added, "The only thing flatter is a dead skunk on the Trans-Canada Highway!" The Army was without their coach Terry Paukert. Paukert is in Ufa, Russia looking for talent to bring into the Army. Paukert said via Skype, "I have watched every game over here. There is no one in this tourney that could even replace Norman. What is going on with hockey development in the world!" Steve Olson was the only Army player to score last night. His floating backhand alluded the Kelly's goalie mid way through the second period. It was the only highlight for the Army. Goaltender Eric Melland ended with 9 saves.