Big Game Tonight

The Red Army plays tonight at 7:00 pm at the Eagles Arena. The opponent is yet to be determined. The Huff-n-Puff league is trying something new this week, as no one knows who they are playing. In an attempt to halt illegal video scouting, the league made this decision. Owner Darrell Boucher said, "This should help our team. Our scouting budget is almost nothing compared to other teams. No other team has to pay as much as I do because of health care cost for this team. 75% of these guys are walking time bombs." The biggest thing about tonight's game will be the absence of Mr. Consistent, Todd Schumacher. He will be at a church ceremony. The clergy will be performing an exorcism on his stick. Coach Terry Paukert said, "We are trying anything to stop him from passing the puck to the other team. We need to get rid of the demons in that stick." If this works, Todd Palmiscno will be having this ceremony next week.